


I saw the words

by needtoknow400



Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 04:19:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13562661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needtoknow400/pseuds/needtoknow400
Summary: Wanting to be alone after Ziva's departure, Gibbs goes to a seclude spot to think and be alone. He doesn't mind that his Senior Field Agent, finds him, but when Tony asks Gibbs to be there for him in a way Gibbs never imagined, everything changes.





	I saw the words

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on ff.net 9/04/2013

The sun had just started to make it's decent into the horizon and the waves were crashing angrily against the shore trying desperately to reach his feet, but falling just short. The sand under him had started to cool, the tempered warmth of the fading sun no longer able to compete with the biting cold of the water. He had come here hoping the scene, the water, would calm him. Water normally had that effect on him, soothing him in some mystical way, but today it only reminded him of the overwhelming emotions that surged within him. Feelings of pride and happiness tempered by feelings of loss and concern. The fatherly love he had always felt for the woman was proud of her decision, happy that she had found peace in some way with her choices after her own father's death. Still, the friend, the boss mourned the loss of her presence and with that came the concern. The concern that she was now in a position of power within an organization that was still fragmented and trying desperately to re-align its internal power structure. She would be at risk every moment of every day until the dust settled and he wouldn't be there to protect her.

He ran his hands down his face and blew out a long breath. Then there was the exchanged he'd witness just hours ago, the goodbye between her and the other man. He knew they were close, knew the sexual tension that existed between them and the blurry line they walked with each other on countless occasions. They obviously wanted each other. Part of the holding back was their own fears and apprehensions and part of it was about him. Neither of them wanted to break his rules or incur his wrath. Truth was he never would have kept them apart if that was what they had both wanted. Love and happiness are too hard to come by these days. Yet he knew he was partly responsible for keeping them apart and now having witness their emotionally charged farewell, he regretted that involvement. He regretted the silence he maintained knowing there was something there between them.

He was never meant to see their goodbye, it was supposed to be a private moment between them, but when it happened he couldn't look away. He knew it was wrong, wanted to leave, but the intensity of the moment between them, the painful look of loss they shared overrode his normal sense of decorum and he watched spurred on by his own sense of loss and regret.

After a tearful goodbye at NCIS, he offered to take Ziva to the hanger. They rode the elevator in a deafening quiet, then spent the twenty minute car ride in silence. The only communication between them was a moment of physical contact. She had taken his one hand from the steering wheel and clutched it tightly, holding it all the way to the airport as she stared out the passenger window. She held on like a life line until the car pulled up not far from the jet. Once she saw the men standing by the plane, she let go of his hand and took a deep breath. Stopping the car a few feet from the jet, she turned to him and smiled. He gave her a nod of understanding. Then the smile faded from her face and the mask of strength fell into place, the only slight trace of emotion visible within her was a hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing else needed to be said between them, they had said everything they needed to say earlier in the day. When she stepped out of the car and towards the men waiting for her, he was reminded of when they first met. Although she was the same woman, she had changed so much in eight years. He knew Mossad would underestimate her and that would be her greatest asset. Once she approached the awaiting plane, he turned the car around and started away. He was just about to turn the corner around the hanger when he saw the familiar car barreling towards the plane. The driver of the car hadn't even notice him to intent on getting to the plane and the woman. Watching, he saw the car screech to a haul and the younger man step out. He should have just driven away, but instead he maneuvered the car around so he could see the scene unfold before him.

Ziva turned around seemingly unsurprised by Tony's presence, instead meeting the intense gaze of the man as he approached her. Tony said something Gibbs couldn't hear and the words made Ziva nod. Then Tony kissed her forehead and her eyes welled with tears. She said something to Tony as her hand caressed his cheek, Tony's own hand coming up and covering hers. Gibbs tried to read her lips, but the distance and the closeness of the two agents made it almost impossible. The few words he did manage to decipher told him all he needed to know. She fell against Tony's body their arms wrapping around each other in a desperate embrace. When she finally pulled back….it happened. She gently brushed her lips against Tony's, the Italian not resisting, instead accepting the kiss as his eyes closed. When it ended their foreheads touched and they stayed there for what seemed like an eternity to Gibbs. Finally, Ziva pressed her lips against Tony's ear and whispered words that made the man's body tense and his jaw tighten. When she stepped back, Tony's eyes opened and Gibbs was able to read the word "no" on Tony's lips. Ziva sighed and shook her head. The only word she spoke that Gibbs was able to make out was regret. After that she walked away, made her way up the steps and into the plane. Tony's shoulders fell in defeat as he turned and headed back to the car. Climbing inside, Tony slammed his hands against the steering wheel in anger, then slumped back into the seat.

Gibbs started the car and drove away, knowing all too well what had just transpired between the two people. Anyone watching the interaction would have known what that goodbye was about, even without the few words that Gibbs had gleamed.  _Fear, love, stubbornness, anger and regret_. Words full of emotion, even when only seen and not heard.

A cool breeze swept across his body, drawing him away from the memory and he sighed. The sky had turned a muddled shade of grey as night continued to creep in, another half hour or so and he'd be bathed in complete darkness. Not that it mattered really. He was in a secluded spot far away from where most people would ever venture. Years ago he'd found the spot while sailing and now whenever he wanted to be alone, truly alone, he came here. Unlike the house, no one every dropped in on him here. He knew after today everyone would expect him to be in the basement working on the boat he'd just started. Tonight he didn't want the constant intrusion, people stopping in needing to talk or asking if he was alright. He just wanted to mourn the change and try to move on. They had all been through this before when…the thought trailed off. At least this time he didn't feel responsible…like he had with Kate. This had been Ziva's choice and they would all have to deal with it in their own way. For Abby it would mean tears and moping. There would be pictures of Ziva on the computer screen for months and postcards from Israel hanging on the wall until she was secure that her friendship with Ziva would survive the miles between them. McGee would deal with it by trying to help Abby through it which in turn would help him deal with his own feelings about the loss. Ducky would play psychologist for them all, wanting them to talk, asking how they were feeling until each in their own time would go to him for support. The wild card right now was Tony. Normally, Tony would bury himself in the work, close himself off and cover all the emotion up with jokes and one night stands. But this, this was different. How would Tony deal with losing the woman he was in love with, a woman he could have had if there had not been so much stubbornness between them.

The hairs on the back of Gibbs' neck went up and his hand instinctively slipped inside his jacket to his side arm. His eyes squinted as he tried to discern the figure walking towards him. It took only a moment for realization to hit him and he let his fingers slip away from the gun. The figure approached, six-pack in hand and dropped down in the sand next to him. Gibbs turned and stared back out at the horizon.

"Cell phone?" Gibbs asked knowing that was the only way Tony could have tracked him here.

"Yeah." Tony said as he twisted the cap off a beer and offered it to Gibbs surprised when the older man shook his head. He shrugged and brought the bottle to his own lips taking a long swig.

They sat there in the stillness for what seemed like an eternity before Tony broke the silence.

"Vance ordered us all to take tomorrow off." Tony paused adding the rest. "He said it wasn't optional."

Gibbs nodded.

Another long stretch of silence feel between them as Tony stared out at the water sipping his beer.

Putting his hands down in the sand behind him, Gibbs leaned back, pulled up his knees and waited, knowing it was just a matter of time before the younger man would finally spew forth everything he was feeling.

Staring down at the beer in his hand, Tony sighed. "I'm not sure I can keep doing this…losing the people I love." He shook his head. "It wasn't supposed to be like this, my life. This isn't what I wanted."

This wasn't the first time Tony had wanted to walk away from the job and the heartache it could bring. Gibbs was just afraid this time Tony might actually mean it.

"I want a home, a family…" He took a deep breath. "Someone to be there at night, to make love to when the day has been too much, someone that will be there in the morning to say today will be better. Someone that loves me unconditionally and can't get enough of me. Someone that won't walk away when I need them the most."

Gibbs saw the movement out of the corner of his eye, surprised when Tony was suddenly kneeling before him.

"Why don't you ever walk away?" Tony questioned searching the steely blue eyes.

"I did walk away, remember?" Gibbs had run, not walked away from the job after the coma. Ran off to Mexico to try and sort it all out, but even when he left he knew he'd be back eventually.

Tony shook his head. "I'm not talking about the job." He swallowed hard. "Why don't you ever walk away from me?"

Gibbs brow furrowed.

"It's been over a decade and you've never once turned me away when I needed you, even though you should have."

"We're family." Gibbs said matter-of-factly, as if that answered everything.

"So there's nothing I could ask of you that you wouldn't do?"

"No." Gibbs shook his head.

Tony's hands fell to Gibbs' knees then pushed them apart as he slipped between them. His lips gently brushed against the older man's for a brief moment then he drew back. When Gibbs didn't push him away, Tony captured the older man’s lips again. His tongue demanded entrance and met no resistance, but the kiss was cold, Gibbs' lips unmoving. He'd asked for too much and now Gibbs was going to push him away. About to stop, he went to pull away when a powerful hand was suddenly on the back of his head refusing to let him go. Then the lips against his warmed as Gibbs responded, his own tongue mingling with Tony's. Tony's hands scratched up the outside of the older man's thighs making a scraping noise over the heavy denim and causing Gibbs to moan. Believing Gibbs had surrendered, Tony let his hands glide up the inside of Gibbs' thighs, pausing just inches from the prize. That was when he felt the rough grip on his biceps and he was jerked back.

Gibbs' blue eyes locked on green as he held Tony at a distance. He was immediately overcome by the emotions within those normally sparkling eyes. The overwhelming feeling of sadness, rejection, and loneliness mixed with desire, want and need. Swallowing hard, Gibbs tried to comprehend not only the younger man's emotions, but the flood of conflicting feelings within himself. Gibbs knew Tony needed this, needed a physical release for the chaos that had engulfed his world, needed someone to be there for him without questions or judgment, someone to just accept the need and give into it with him. If it had been any other man, Gibbs would have already stopped this, but this wasn't any man. Tony was his friend, his family, a man he cared about more than he had ever admitted. He trusted Tony with his life every day and the younger man had proven himself to be more loyal than anyone else in Gibbs' life. He had always been there for Tony, always, but this? Gibbs wasn't sure he could…he was pulled from his thoughts, by the struggling of the younger man to free himself. Gibbs tightened his grip, his fingertips digging into the flesh of Tony's arms.

The struggling ceased as the steel blue eyes glared back at Tony. Tony chastised himself for believing that Gibbs would just let this happen, he should have known. His only hope now was that Gibbs wouldn't let this ruin their friendship, that he would pretend it never happened. The grip on his arms was gone and he was about to move away when a hand caressed around his waist and jerked their upper bodies together. Tony watched as the blue eyes now stared at his lips then glanced up for a moment before his lips were captured. Tony grabbed Gibbs' face with both hands desperate to make the kiss last as long as possible. The kiss went on for what seemed like an eternity, Gibbs demanding to taste every inch of his lips and mouth. The exploration turned to a brutal assault with Gibbs nibbling then biting at Tony's swollen lips. Tony couldn't breathe, but refused to give into the need for air, instead launching his own counter attack sucking in Gibbs' bottom lip and biting down greedily. The hand on his back clawed at his shirt as Gibbs allowed Tony to take control of the exchange. Gibbs' lips weren't enough, Tony wanted more. His hand found its way to the back of Gibbs' head and tugged aggressively as he kissed down Gibbs' jaw line then descended to the man's neck.

Gibbs' eyes closed as the warm lips caressed his neck then pressed against his jugular. It was when he felt the teeth gnaw his flesh that he let out a moan causing Tony to bite down hard.

Tony felt the thundering pulse against his teeth and he licked at the marred flesh as if he were trying to sooth some wounded animal. He smirked to himself when Gibbs' hummed under his touch. Spurred on by the response, his hands burrowed their way between their bodies and found their way under Gibbs' sweatshirt and against the warm flesh. He felt the sharp intake of breathe and let his hands explore further learning the contours of Gibbs' stomach and chest. Abandoning Gibbs' neck, he drew back and stared into the normally blue eyes now only a halo of blue in a sea of black. With both hands Tony pushed the shirt up and Gibbs took the hint raising his arms and allowing Tony to remove it. Then Gibbs' hands were on Tony's shirt demanding the same. Arms raised the shirt was tugged over Tony's head and tossed aside.

Roughly Gibbs was shoved back down into the sand, Tony now exploring his chest unhindered by the shirt. Seconds later, hands were not enough and Tony's mouth joined in kissing and licking across the exposed skin. When Tony's tongue darted across Gibbs' nipple, Gibbs' eyes rolled back reveling in the sensation as his own hands traversed up the younger man's ribcage sending a shiver through the body above him. It was when Tony's fingers brush against the button of his jeans that the surreal dream Gibbs had been in dissipated and it all became real. He'd expected his body to be unresponsive, expected to have to fake the desire and the want. He was prepared for the lack of arousal, prepared to take control and find some way to satisfy Tony without showing his own body's lack of interest. But he was completely unprepared for this…the involuntary response his body had to the younger man's touch. His cock was hard, painfully hard and begging to be freed from the confines of his jeans. His mind filled with all the ways this could play out, each one more erotic and animalist than the last, but every one of them ended with him taking Tony and both of them screaming as they came.

His mind and body filled with wanton debauchery, Gibbs growled as Tony popped the button on his jeans and slowly worked the zipper down over his hard cock. Arching his body up, Gibbs wrapped his arms around Tony crushing their bodies together as he attacked the Italians throat desperate for a taste of the man.  _So sweet._ Gibbs growled as he devoured Tony's throat. Nothing had ever tasted so delicious, so inviting and he couldn't get enough. He was just about to take a bite of the unmarred flesh, when the air rushed from his lungs and his body trembled as Tony's fingers found their way inside his boxers and brushed over his cock. Falling back down into the sand, Tony in his arms, his fingertips pierced into the flesh of Tony's back as he fought to suppress the need to come.

What the hell was happening to him? Where was his control? As Gibbs tried to regain some sense of composer, he felt the tugging at his hips and realized Tony was trying to drag the jeans off his body. He raised his hips automatically and the jeans and boxers were ripped from his legs. Without a thought he tore at Tony's belt, jerking the belt buckle open then tearing at the button and zipper of Tony's pants.

Tony did everything possible to help, wiggling his hips, twisting and bending like some contortionist to allow Gibbs to peel the jeans off. Straddling Gibbs' hips, Tony gazed down at the man under him shivering when he saw the animalist hunger in the eyes staring back at him. Letting his hands sprawl out across the older man's chest, Tony slowly started to rock back and forth over Gibbs' hard cock.

Gibbs took a strangled breath as he clutched at Tony's hips rocking the man harder and faster over his aching cock.  _It shouldn't feel so good, he shouldn't want it this badly, but all he could think about was wanting more._  More of Tony's kisses, more of Tony's touch, more of everything that was Anthony DiNozzo.

Tony let himself be rocked back and forth like some rag doll. He was too surprised by Gibbs desire and too overwhelmed by his own need to protest. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. The rejection, the refusal and finally the leaving, that was what Tony had been waiting for, not this. He wasn't prepared for the acceptance, the want, the need and the outright desire Gibbs exuded for him. He had been given exactly what he asked for, what he wanted and now nothing would stop him. Grabbing Gibbs' hand he pried it from his hip and brought it to his lips. Eagerly he sucked in two of Gibbs' fingers, working up and down over the digits and eliciting a string of moans from the older man. Finally, he let the moist fingers slip from his lips and rose up on his knees. He started to move Gibbs' hand between them, when Gibbs jerked it away.

Meeting the haunting green eyes, Gibbs watched the younger man's reaction as his finger breeched Tony working deep inside the tight muscle. He leered down the Italians body. Tony was gorgeous on any day, but like this, naked, lost in the sensation, the man was exquisite. He added a second finger, drawing a guttural moan from the younger man. A third finger joined the others and Gibbs thought he would come just from the sounds Tony was making. When he felt the hand on his wrist, Gibbs stopped and searched the face above him.

Tony pulled Gibbs' hand away, groaning with loss as the fingers slide from inside him. As good as it felt he needed more. Eyes locked, he rose up on his knees and grabbed the base of Gibbs' cock positioning himself above it.

Gibbs' mouth fell open in a silent response as the head of his cock slipped inside the younger man. Painfully slow, more and more of his cock was enveloped by the tight warmth. His chest tightened as his heart thundered against his ribs desperately trying to find a steady rhythm that would pump the blood back to the rest of his body. He clutched at Tony's hips holding the man still trying to calm his hypersensitive body. He was on fire, every nerve ending sending pulsating electric shocks through his system.

Fighting against the powerful grip, Tony rose up then slid back down, trying desperately to take all of Gibbs' cock. Over and over he rose up then worked back down, taking more and more of Gibbs' length each time. Suddenly he took a strangled breath as he settled on Gibbs' lap, his body finally stretched and taking the cock completely. The body under him trembled and through their connection, he felt his own body shake.

"Oh God Tony!" They were the first words spoken between them since this had begun. Gibbs sat up, wrapping an arm around Tony, clutching the man in his lap to prevent Tony from moving. Control that's what he needed right now and he couldn't find any. His head fell to Tony's shoulder as he tried to take a deep breath, but his lungs refused to take in air. He'd had anal sex before, with one of the ex-wives and a lover now and then, but this was different. Tony was warm, tight and inviting, probably because Tony obviously wanted this, had asked for it. That had never been part of anal sex for Gibbs before. He had always been the one asking and it was given reluctantly.  _Fuck._  There was another reason it felt so good.  _No condom_. How did he forget that? It had been years since he'd had sex without a condom. He was always careful, never once letting his libido override his rational thought, but here he was with his cock buried inside of Tony having never even thought of a condom. He felt the soothing touch, fingers caressing over the nape of his neck, then gently combing through his hair. The simple gesture calmed him slightly and he was able to take a shallow breath giving his aching lungs a moment of relief.

The body against Tony quieted slightly and he heard Gibbs take in a gulp of air. Then Gibbs raised his head and Tony was captured by the intense gaze of the lust filled eyes. "Tell me you want me." Tony whispered.

"I want you." Gibbs hissed. God he had never wanted someone so desperately.

Pressing his lips to Gibbs' ear, Tony sighed. "Then take me."

An animalist roar tore from Gibbs as he rolled them down into the sand, never letting their body's part. He felt the heel digging into his back as Tony wrapped a leg around him drawing his cock in deeper. Another roar as Gibbs lost all control. He grabbed Tony's hips and hammered into the man relentlessly.

Hands clawing into the sand, Tony felt his eyes roll back into his head as he bit down on his lip trying to stifle a scream as his body was taken. He was savagely shoved upward with each power thrust of Gibbs' cock, the sand scratching and clawing at his back. He'd never felt such an overwhelming mixture of pleasure and pain. He felt a hand on his pulling it from the sand, Gibbs entwined their fingers and his arm was shoved above his head. He gasped when a hand engulfed his cock and he was stroked hard and fast.  _Make it last_  he told himself.  _Hold on._  Then he heard the whispered words in his ear.

"Come for me…I wanna hear you scream."

Tony crushed their joined hands together as he gave in and screamed in ecstasy. His body convulsed as the warm fluid covered his stomach and Gibbs continued to work over his cock until it finally went flaccid.

Gibbs sensed the release before it happened and howled when he felt the sticky warmth run through his fingers and Tony tighten around his cock. Still, he refused to give in, it felt too good, to right and he didn't want it to end.

Still lost in the blissful haze, Tony somehow managed to clutch at Gibbs' back with his free hand and speak. "Don't stop, please don't ever stop."

Gibbs didn't want to stop, never wanted to let the feeling end. Both legs suddenly locked around Gibbs’ waist drawing his cock deeper into the warmth. "Tony!" The name was a prayer on his lips as he lunged into the younger man consumed by the madness that Tony had driven him to. There was nothing now except the need for Tony, the need for release. He cried out as his body shuddered then tensed as he collapsed.

**##########**

Closing the door behind him, he made his way upstairs, through the bedroom and into the bathroom. Sloughing off his clothes, he started the shower and climbed inside. He put his hands flat on the wall in front of him and hung his head letting the hot water rain down over his back then cascade down his body. Closing his eyes, snippets of what had happened flashed through his mind. That first kiss, exploring each other's bodies, his cock inside Tony, how good it all felt. Shaking his head, he ran his face under the water as if it would wash away the images now ingrained in his memory. Blowing out a long breath he let the water wash off most of the remaining sand, then soaped up a wash cloth and finished the job.

What seemed like hours later he climbed out of the shower, dried off, and wrapped the towel around his waist. He stepped up to the mirror and ran a hand over the foggy surface. Looking at his reflection the first thing he noticed was the fullness of his lips, lips still swollen from the savageness of their kisses. Then the two marks on his neck where Tony had tasted his pulse. They were already turning a deep purplish hue. The swollen lips would fade in a few hours, but the marks on his neck would take days. He would be wearing a collared shirt on Monday. They would be the only visible scars from the experience, but they would eventually disappear as well. The memories, those wouldn't be so easy to get rid of, memories never are.

He moved away from the mirror and walked into the bedroom. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he ran his hands down his face. Why did he let this happen? He had never once thought about being with another man, not that he hadn't had offers. There were men in the military, men he met on cases, and in bars. There had never been any physical attraction to any of them, not even Tony. Sure he knew Tony was a good looking man, but beyond that he'd never thought of Tony in a sexual way. Now it was all he could think about. The way Tony tasted the solid feel of Tony's naked body, the unquenchable need they created in each other. He growled angrily pushing the thoughts from his mind. This was ridiculous.

"Stop!" He spat out the command as if that one word would end it all.

Tony was in love with Ziva; Gibbs was just a distraction, a release for the emotional loss. It was nothing more, there were no emotions involved. Just two friends being there for each other. Gibbs sighed.  _If that was the truth then why is this bothering you so much?_  He already knew the answer he just couldn't admit it to himself.

"Damn it." Gibbs groaned as he stood up and paced the floor. He had always been there for Tony, without questions and without a second thought. Although, Tony wanting to have sex with him had definitely made him stop and think twice, but when he saw that look in Tony's eyes, the emotions he couldn't say no. "Liar." The word came out without his consent. Lying to himself was easier than accepting the truth…that he had felt something for Tony.

He abruptly stopped as his feelings punched him square in the chest and the air rushed from his lungs.  _He felt something for Tony._  Dropping back down on the bed, he put his head in his hands as he tried to catch his breath. God, he had feelings for Tony, feelings that went beyond boss employee that went beyond friendship. Did he lov- again he couldn't finish the thought.

They'd always been close. Tony knew him better than any other agent he'd ever worked with, hell Tony knew him better than almost anyone in his life. Tony was one of the few people he'd let into his life outside work. He was close to all his team, but Tony was different. There was just a connection between them. Mike had always said Tony was the younger version of him. The reality was Tony was a younger better version of him.

He should never have let this happen, now everything would change between them. It would be awkward and tense, Tony trying to avoid him whenever possible. That was always how Tony handled a situation he didn't want to deal with. And how was he supposed to deal with this when all he wanted was to be with Tony again. Taking a deep breath, Gibbs mentally balled up the emotions he had for Tony and shoved them in a cage hidden deep within his subconscious. That's how he'd deal with it. He would lock the feelings away and never let them see the light of day. Eventually Tony would work through his own feelings about what happened and things would go back to normal between them. They would never speak of it and life would go on.

**##########**

Monday morning, 0600 and Gibbs was already sitting at his desk waiting for his agents to arrive…minus one member. He spent the entire three day weekend hold up in the basement, leaving only to eat, use the bathroom and shower. He'd pulled the truck around back, locked all the doors in the house and refused to answer the phone. Although there had only be a few uninvited knocks. One was Abby and he actually thought about answering, but he knew she was only there to check on him and he didn't want to talk. The other was Fornell and he knew Fornell would understand. There were phone calls, all ignored, but there was nothing from Tony. No surprise visits, no calls, nothing.

McGee was the first to arrive, walking in and giving Gibbs a nod and good morning.

Gibbs nodded back. "Abby?"

"Getting there." McGee dropped his bag down by his desk. "She talked to Ziva Saturday night."

Another nod from Gibbs.

"Ziva said to tell you she'd call you soon.

"Yeah." Gibbs knew it would take weeks for Ziva to call him. She'd feel the need to be settled, have something to report before she called, as if having information was the only reason she could talk to him. He heard the elevator ding and Tony strolled out.

"Hey boss, Timmy."

Gibbs tipped his head towards the man in reply.

"You get some sleep Sunday?" McGee smirked.

"Couple hours." Tony sighed as he rubbed his shoulder. "But my arm still hurts."

Tim chuckled. "Mine too."

Tony looked over at Gibbs who took in the conversation with a confused look. "We all went out Saturday night."

Gibbs was still confused.

"Abby's version of Quarters, it involves her punching you." Tony smirked. "I think it's some weird fetish with her."

Gibbs scoffed. "Probably."

Tony cocked his head and looked at Tim. "She like to smack you around when you two were together?"

"What!" Tim's eyes went wide. "No!"

With a shrug Tony threw his backpack behind his desk, sat down and turned on his computer. Then he looked over at McGee. "You tell Boss man Ziva called."

"He did." Gibbs said without looking up from his computer screen. He heard the back elevator open and knew exactly who it was. Abby scurried over to his desk and stood there hands on her hips.

"I called you all weekend, you never answered." There was a trace of anger and worry in her voice.

"Yeah."

"I even stopped by, the door was actually locked."

"Ever think there might be a reason for that?"

Her hands fell from her hips and a pout formed on her lips. "We're family; we are supposed to be there for each other during times like this."

Letting out a sigh, he stood up and walked around the desk placing a kiss on her temple. "I'm okay Abs." He whispered in her ear.

She threw her arms around him. "I worry about you."

He sighed wrapping an arm around her and giving her a hug. "I know." No one worried like Abby.

Pulling out of his embrace, she smiled with excitement. "Ziva called Saturday. She's getting all settled in. She sounds okay, she misses us all."

Gibbs nodded.

"She said she'd call you soon."

"I heard."

"You miss her too right?"

"I do." He did miss her. She was part of their family, no matter the distance between them. Yet he couldn't help but feel as if he'd betrayed her with what happened. He quickly shoved the thought away. "Going for coffee." He said as he headed towards the elevator.

"He's not okay, something's bothering him. And it's not just about Ziva." Abby chewed at her lower lip. When there was no response from either of the two men she glared back and forth between them. "HELLO!"

"I have no idea." Tim shrugged.

She turned her glare towards Tony.

"What?" Tony balked.

"Do you know something?"

"Why would I know anything?" Tony snapped.

Her eyes narrowed further. "Did you talk to him this weekend?"

"No." It wasn't a lie; Tony hadn't talk to Gibbs over the weekend. The last time he'd seen Gibbs was Thursday night at the beach. Memories of the night raced through his mind and he rubbed his hands down his face.

"Something's hinky."

"I'm sure it's just about Ziva leaving." Tony said quickly changing the subject. The last thing he wanted was for Abby to start thinking something was hinky and go on a fishing expedition to find out. "Did you have a reason besides worry for coming up here?"

"Oh God, I did." Her shoulders slumped down; she was always unfocused when there was change and turmoil in her life. She hated change, especially unhappy change.

Getting up from his desk, Tony came around to Abby and kissed her cheek. "It's okay we all miss her." He sighed. "But it will get better. Now what did you have?"

**##########**

With a second cup of coffee in hand, Gibbs walked back in to NCIS. He'd finished the first cup sitting at a bench outside trying to clear his head. Now he just wanted to catch a case to have something to focus on besides Ziva's departure and Tony. The elevator opened as he approached and he walked in still lost in thought. It wasn't until the doors closed that he realized he wasn't alone.

"Abby's worried about you."

"Yeah, I got that." Gibbs said taking a sip of coffee and staring at the elevator doors. Looking at the younger man would only bring all the images flooding back.

"She thinks there is something else bothering you besides Ziva being gone, thinks something is hinky."

Gibbs didn't respond.

"Is there something else going on?" Tony asked his voice suddenly lower.

"No." Gibbs took another sip of coffee.

"Good." Tony nodded. "Abby found some prints on the hair clip from the Coleman case. She wants you in the lab."

The elevator doors opened onto the bullpen and Gibbs strolled out heading straight for the back elevator to the lab. He passed McGee's desk without a word, Tony on his heels. Reaching the elevator he pushed the button and the doors opened. He stepped in and Tony followed. Again Gibbs refused to look at the man. When the doors parted, Gibbs made his way out and into the lab.

"Prints Abs?"

"Not in the system." Abby said through a laugh.

That was when Gibbs noticed the woman standing next to her. A tall long legged blue eyed brunette, in a short skirt and button down dress shirt both almost the same deep blue as her eyes.

"Agent Gibbs I assume." The woman smiled extending her hand to him. "Olivia Newman. I've heard a lot about you."

Gibbs shook her hand and nodded.

"Olivia's a friend from college. She's here about the Coleman case." Abby smiled.

Gibbs' brow went up.

"Detective Newman." Olivia explained. "Baltimore homicide." She glanced at the man beside Gibbs and smirked. "And you must be Agent DiNozzo."

"Tony please." Tony smiled stepping forward and shaking her hand.

"Tony." She snickered. "I've heard a lot about you too."

Rolling his eyes, Gibbs turned back to Abby. "Why am I here?"

Abby opened her mouth to make a smart ass comment about his lack of patience's, but when she saw the glare he gave her she bit her tongue. Gibbs was obviously not in the mood today. "Well the prints aren't in the system, but we do know who they belong to."

Gibbs sighed, the ounce of patience's he had wearing thin.

"Coleman's ex-wife. We printed her at the scene."

"A civilian, which makes it my case now." Olive cut in.

"Turn it over."

All three people looked at Gibbs as if he'd just grown another head.

"What?" Gibbs barked.

"Just like that?" Tony's face contorted into a shocked and confused look.

"What no- "Coleman was a Marine so this is still an NCIS case."" Abby said in her best Gibbs' voice.

"Coleman died of a heart attack, no foul play, if Baltimore homicide wants to chase after his ex-wife let them."

The other three exchanged looks for a second time.

"Don't you want to know why they are interested in the ex-wife?" Tony asked.

"Not really." Gibbs headed towards the door leaving the three of them standing there completely confused.

"This is so not good." Abby said nervously.

"Not good at all." Tony groaned running from the lab to catch up with Gibbs before the elevator doors closed.

Olivia looked at Abby. She'd expected a fight, Abby having prepared her for Gibbs refusal to give up the case.

"Gibbs never just turns over a case, never, well once or twice, but mitigating circumstances. Never like this." There was definitely something hinky going on and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

**#############**

Tony slid through the elevator doors sideways, just as they were about to close.

Gibbs took a step back as Tony appeared in the elevator and it roared to life. It stopped a second later when Tony's hand flipped the emergency stop.

Standing before Gibbs, arms folded across his chest, Tony stared at his boss. "Okay now I'm worried." The concern obvious in his voice. "You turning a case over without a fight, not good."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Closed case, no foul play."

"I get that, but not even wanting an explanation, very unGibbs like."

Reaching over, Gibbs went to start the elevator and felt the hand grab his wrist. He held his breath as the memory rushed through him. Their bodies joined, the younger man screaming his release. Then the sudden urge to slam Tony against the elevator wall and taste the sweetness again. Jerking his hand away, he took another step back.

"Right." Tony sighed. "So this is about the other night?"

Gibbs shook his head.

Tony chuckled. "Yeah because you jerking away from me like I'm going to suddenly pounce on you like some wild animal is normal."

The words put another vision in his head and Gibbs' hands balled into fists at his side.

"I didn't think you'd wanna talk about it."

Gibbs noticed the instant change in Tony's body language. The younger man's arms fell from his chest and there was a nervous tension in his voice.

"If you wanna talk about it, we can-"

"I don't!" The last thing Gibbs wanted to do was talk about it. Talking about it would only make it worse.

"So this is how it's going to be then?" There was a sadness in Tony's voice.

"No." Gibbs sighed. He hated hearing that sad tone in the younger man's voice. He finally looked at the man for the first time since that night and as much as he tried to prepare himself for his response, it was visceral and immediate. His heart stopped, his chest tightened and the breath he had been trying to take caught in his throat. What the hell had Tony done to him?

"Can we just forget about it, please?"

"Yes."  _Easier said than done._  Gibbs thought as he said the word.

"Good." Tony started the elevator, but his finger stayed on the button. He hesitated a moment, then stopped the elevator again.

Gibbs held his breath as Tony took a step towards him and he felt the hand on his cheek. His eyes closed both soothed and aroused by even the smallest touch. The warm lips brushed against his cheek and he took a deep breath inhaling the intoxicating scent of the younger man. He felt the emotion he'd buried and caged howl and beat against the bars fighting to break free. Then just like that the touch was gone.

Tony took a step back. "Thank you, for everything."

Gibbs’ eyes opened and he nodded not trusting his voice.

"You really are the only person who has always been there for me."

"I'll always be there for you."

"I know." Tony smiled then started the elevator. It opened a moment later and Tony stepped out not looking back until he realized Gibbs wasn't getting out. He looked at the older man inquisitively.

"Leon needs to see me."

Tony's only response was a smile and nod before heading back towards the bullpen.

The doors closed and the elevator jerked to life, the doors parted a second later on the top floor. Walking out as calmly as possible, Gibbs made his way into MTAC and slipped into the back row of seats. Sitting down he took a deep breath and ran his hands down his face. Leon didn't need to see him; he just needed an excuse not to be in the bullpen, not to be near Tony.

_Get a grip old man._  Gibbs told himself.  _It meant nothing to Tony._ That was now painfully obvious to him. The man wasn't remotely fazed by what happened; it was just a friend being there for another friend. He chuckled to himself. He suddenly understood all the woman that had been so desperate for more with Tony when all Tony wanted was a casual fling or one night stand. God, he was one of Tony's one night stands. Rolling his eyes, he dropped his head back and stared at the ceiling. Tony was in love with Ziva, had lost the woman he wanted, and Gibbs was just someone to fill a void, a need, nothing more. The sooner he realized that the better off it would be. Tony didn't want more, didn't want him, nothing had changed. Hell truth was he didn't even know what he wanted from Tony.

Pulling his head up, Gibbs' stoic look was back on his face. When he left MTAC, he left behind the emotion, the want, the desire as well. At least that's what he told himself.

Taking the steps back down to the bullpen, he saw Abby at Tony's desk talking away. She smiled when she saw him and he stopped in front of her.

She pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and held it out to him.

"What's this?" Gibbs asked looking at the numbers on the post it note.

"Olivia's number." She smirked. "She wanted me to give it to you."

Tony's eyebrows went up. "She talked to him for like two seconds."

"She thinks boss man is sexy." She wiggled her eyebrows. "And just think, she has her own cuffs."

Gibbs rolled his eyes and stuck the number in his jacket pocket as he walked over to his desk.

"Are you going to call her?" Abby asked trying to contain her excitement.

Gibbs shrugged.

"Oh come on!" Abby groaned. "She's beautiful, smart and a detective. What's not to love?"

"Maybe boss man isn't looking." Tony said without even thinking.

Her face filled with surprise. "Are you seeing someone? Who is it? Anyone I know?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Not seeing anyone."

"Then Olivia is perfect for you." Abby moved towards his desk. "And she loves to sail."

Looking up at her, Gibbs seemed to be considering it.

"Think about it." She begged.

Giving her a placating nod, he flipped open a report on his desk.

"Good." She smiled as she headed back to the lab.

"Doesn't seem like your type."

Gibbs glanced over at Tony, then back down at the report. "And what is my type DiNozzo?"

Tony swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. Why the hell had he said that? "Not sure boss."

"She's not that young." Gibbs knew what Tony was thinking. "She's about your age, is that too young?"

"No." Tony chocked out. When Gibbs didn't reply, he sighed with relief.  _Okay no more comments on woman that are interested in Gibbs._

**########**

The week rushed by in a flurry of cases giving Gibbs no time to dwell on the events of that night. He'd never been so thankful to be so busy. The cases kept him occupied and he'd succeeded in not spending any time alone with Tony. With only three of them now all of them were pretty much on their own, coming together after the crime scene had been examined, records gone through and witnesses questioned.

The problem now was it was already after nine on Friday, they were all finishing reports and there was no new case in sight. He'd hoped they'd catch another case that would take them through the weekend. Two days with nothing to do was not what he wanted. Even though he felt exhausted, he knew he wouldn't sleep, didn't want to sleep. Although the cases had kept him from thinking about Tony, whenever he closed his eyes to sleep the younger man haunted his slumber. Countless dreams of their bodies locked in a lovers embrace, in endless locations and positions. It was driving him mad and he wanted it to stop. He was so engrossed in his thoughts he hadn't heard the younger man approached.

"Boss?"

Gibbs looked up, the vision from his dreams standing before him.

"Reports are done." Tony said having already laid them on the desk.

"Go home."

Tony nodded and was about to turn around when he paused. "You okay?"

"Fine." Gibbs said curtly as he opened Tony's report and started reading.

"Right." Tony headed back to his desk all too familiar with the Gibbs way of dismissing people. He grabbed his backpack and glanced over at the older man again. "Night boss."

Gibbs gave a slight nod without looking up. He stayed like that staring at the file until he heard the elevator open and close, then start to move. Then he leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. Why couldn't he get this under control? He'd never had a problem controlling his desire for someone never, and he had never let it affect his work. But this, this was affecting work and the way he dealt with Tony and it needed to stop. The phone on his desk buzzed to life and he grabbed it answering without even looking at who it was.

"Gibbs."

"You are still at work." The familiar voice stated.

He ran his hand down his face. "Yeah, long week."

"So I have heard."

"Abby?"

"Yes, she has called me three times."

He smirked. "She's worried."

"Especially about you."

He absent mindedly played with a piece of paper on the desk. "I'm good."

"Things are not that bad here."

Of course Abby had told Ziva that his odd mood and behavior were because of her leaving and in a bizarre way it was, although there was so much more to it than that. "You sleeping?" He asked.

"Sometimes."

Which meant no. He knew Ziva speak.

"We miss you."

She smiled into the phone. It was easier for him to say "we" then make it about his own feelings. "I miss you all."

There was a moment of silence then she spoke again. "Have you spoken to Tony?"

"I speak to him every day." He knew it was a smart ass remark, but his jealousy reared its ugly head.

"I mean actually talk, outside of work."

He reined in his unjustified jealousy and answered. "The night you left."

"And?"

"And what?" Gibbs barked. "We talked, he drank, end of story." There is no way Tony would have told her? So what was she getting at?

"He is hurting; he needs you to be there for him."

"Maybe you should be there for him." The jealousy crept back into his voice.

"I am always here for him, for all of you, but I cannot help him, you can."

"No, I can't" He snapped.

Again silence.

"It's late." He wanted this conversation to end.

"Gibbs speak for I am done with this conversation."

He took a deep breath. "Ziver."

The affectionate nickname made her smile again, but there was a hint of sadness knowing she would now only hear that name occasionally over the phone.

"This is still always your home." His voice softened, the use of the name affecting him as well. Although a part of his mood was because of what had happened with Tony, another part of it was his own loss of a woman he considered family. "And I am always here for you."

"I know…Good night."

"Night Ziver, be safe." He heard the line go dead and closed the phone tossing it onto the desk.

**##########**

Grabbing a beer from the fridge, Gibbs twisted off the cap, tossed it in the trash and took a long swig. He leaned back against the fridge and took another drink. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the dress jacket he'd worn on Monday draped across the chair in the living room. Maybe that's what he needed, a distraction of the female persuasion. Olivia was a beautiful woman…it couldn't hurt. Making his way to the chair, he stuck his hand in the right jacket pocket and his brow furrowed. He searched in the other pocket, nothing. The right pocket, he knew that was where he had put it. Looking around the floor by the chair, he thought maybe it had fallen out. Nothing. Monday, he had taken the jacket off and laid it over his chair in the bullpen, it could have fallen out there. Seemed unlikely, but not impossible. He stared at the jacket confused.

"Problem?"

"No." Gibbs sighed letting it go as he looked at the man. "Beer."

The man held up the bottle and smirked.

"I'll get the cups." Disappearing into the kitchen, Gibbs returned with two cups and sat down in the chair. "What's the occasion?"

Fornell shrugged. "Thought you could use it." The bottle already opened, he filled the glasses.

"Yeah." Gibbs grabbed the glass and downing it in one swallow.

"Oh it's gonna be like that is it?" Fornell chuckled downing his drink. "Missing your girl that much?"

Gibbs response was to grab the bottle and refill their glasses. Again he picked his up and gulped it down

"You talk to her?"

Gibbs nodded.

"She can handle it." Fornell swallowed his drink and poured them another.

"I know."

"You worried about the team?"

Gibbs shrugged.

"They're resilient, you know that. They'll work through it."

"Yeah." Gibbs rubbed his forehead.

"So what else is bothering you?"

"You ever been-" Gibbs shook his head not finishing the thought. "Never mind."

"What?" Fornell asked.

Gibbs knocked back his drink and filled the glass.

"Come on if you can't talk to me who can you talk to?" Fornell smirked.

Gibbs' eyes narrowed as he glared at Fornell. "I hear one smart ass comment from you and I'll-"

"I get it, this is serious." Fornell said holding up his hands. "No snide remarks."

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs finished his earlier thought. "You ever wanted to be with another man?"

Fornell's eyebrow went up and he stared at Gibbs.

Gibbs rolled his eyes, knowing that look. "Don't flatter yourself."

"You thinking of switching teams?" Fornell chuckled then saw the angry glare. He cleared his throat. "Right, sorry." He thought about it a moment, then shook his head. "No, I mean I can appreciate a good looking man, but never thought of having sex with one."

"Neither had I." Gibbs sighed taking a sip of his drink.

"Had?" Fornell's eyebrow went up again. "As in past tense?"

Gibbs gave Fornell a confirming glance then stared down into his glass.

"Wow!" Fornell's eyes widened and he shook his head. "I mean wow. I never saw you as, I mean you're-" He paused, downed his drink, put the glass on the coffee table and refilled it. Shaking his head he chuckled nervously. "Not sure what to say here Jethro."

"Me either."

"I don't care you know right."

"I know." Gibbs' hesitation in telling Fornell wasn't that he thought his friend would be judgmental.

"This a one-time thing or you actually wanna switch teams for this guy?"

"One time thing."

Fornell heard the hint of disappointment in Gibbs' voice. "It was supposed to be a one-time thing…but you want more?"

Gibbs nodded, surprised by his own admission.

"And he just wanted a quick fu-" Fornell stopped in mid word.

"It wasn't just a quick fuck." Gibbs snapped as he jumped up and started pacing.

"Then what was it?"

"A release, two people needing someone." Gibbs wanted to make it more than it was, needed it to be more, but it wasn't. He dropped back down into the chair. "Yeah, it was a quick fuck, well not quick."

Fornell snickered. "This guy's got you all worked up. Must have been one hell of a piece of ass."

Rubbing his hands down his face, Gibbs put his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. "It's not that."

Fornell's brow furrowed.

"It wasn't just that." Gibbs clarified.

"You have feelings for this guy?"

Gibbs sighed. "I don't know, maybe."

"Come on Jethro!" Fornell balked. "You're probably just infatuated; it's all new and different."

"That's not it. I wish it was." Gibbs didn't want to feel this way. He just wanted all the feelings and emotions to stop.

"You do have feelings for this guy?" Fornell dropped back against the couch. He still found it shocking. Getting through the thick skin of Leroy Jethro Gibbs was not an easy task and this man had managed to do it in one night. "And you're sure it was just sex for him?"

"Yeah." Gibbs swallowed the lump in his throat as he spoke the words. "He's in love with someone else."

"Jesus Jethro." Fornell groaned. "Since when do you let your dick make the decisions for you? You're always the one that thinks with the brain between your ears not your legs."

"I didn't let my dick make any decision, there were circumstances. It was-" How was he supposed to explain this without telling Fornell who the man was?

"Where the hell did you meet this guy? A bar, a case, some-"

"He's a friend."

"A friend?" Fornell rolled his eyes. "Great. You know you really can't afford to lose any friends, you're not exactly Mister Popular."

"Thanks." Gibbs rolled his eyes.

Letting out a deep breath, Fornell leaned forward and tried to be a supportive friend. "How's the other guy handling it? Has it hurt the friendship?"

"No." Gibbs gazed down into his glass again and chuckled disappointedly. "In fact he's fine with it, hasn't affected our friendship at all."

"And there's the core of it all."

"What?"

"You're upset that you didn't get to him." Fornell snickered. "He got under your skin. You thought that suave Gibbs way and sex would win him over and it didn't." He laughed. "Doesn't always work Jethro, you can't win them all."

"That's not it! I didn't even want to have sex with him, he needed someone and I-"

"He used you and you let him. Now you're pissed that he doesn't want more." Fornell shrugged his shoulder. "I get it, but you can't be pissed at him if he was honest and upfront about what he wanted."

Gibbs groaned. Fornell was right and he hated him for it. "I just want it to stop. The dreams, the constant flashes of that night whenever I see him, the desire to just take him every time we're alone, all of it. I want it to go away."

"YOU DIDN'T!" Fornell yelled as it suddenly clicked in his brain.

Gibbs' hand tightened around the glass as he realized his friend had put the pieces together.

"Oh God you did!" Fornell groaned. "Jethro you never shit where you eat. Come on. You made that rule, rule 160 or something." He rubbed his hand down his face. "I should have put it together. I mean he jumps at your every command, gets that hurt puppy dog look every time you yell at him and how many laws as he broken for you."

"Please." Gibbs scowled. "All my team acts that way, not just him."

"Yeah, but he's extra eager to please." Fornell smirked. "Oh I bet he just laid there and took it didn't he? Just begged for it." Suddenly the smirk faded and Fornell's body shivered. "Oh God, that was not an image I needed in my head." He shook his head trying to forever remove the picture of Gibbs and the man from his memory bank.

"Don't make me head slap you Tobias."

"Does Abby know?"

"No."

"Thank God." Fornell sighed. "She'd freak. She's almost as bad as you about people playing with things that are hers."

"What are you talking about?"

"I just mean, Abby and him. They obviously love each other; have for a long time, even if neither of them admits it."

Gibbs' eyes went wide. "I did not have sex with McGee!"

"Then who did you..." Fornell's mouth fell open. "DINOTZO!"

"Close your mouth before you catch a fly."

"Holy shit." Fornell shook his head. "I mean King of the one night stands and you thought he'd want more. He chases any good looking woman within a ten mile radius, what the hell."

"I get it. You don't have to remind me."

Fornell scowled. "Who's he in love with?

"Come on you don't know." Gibbs scoffed.

"Not Ziva?" Fornell saw Gibbs nod. "Then why did she leave? She not in love with him?"

"She is they are both just too stubborn to admit it."

"Wow. DiNotzo in love never pictured that." Fornell paused and stared at his friend confused. "Then why the hell did he sleep with you."

"I don't know."

"How did it happen?" Fornell received a glare and rolled his eyes. "I'm not asking for the gory details. I just, how does something like that just happen?"

Gibbs was up and pacing. "Tony was hurting, talking about all the people he's loved and lost because of this job, how this wasn't how he wanted his life to be. Then that I'm the only one that's truly always been there for him, no matter what…then he kissed me."

"Just like that and you didn't stop him?"

"I was shocked and-" He shook his head. "I stopped at one point, but then…the look in his eyes, the hurt and sadness. He expected me to reject him."

"Soooo you just decided what the hell I'll give it a try?" Fornell snickered.

Gibbs stopped pacing and glared at Fornell. "Everyone in his life has let him down, walked away when he needed them. I couldn't do that."

"So this was what, a pity fuck?"

Gibbs' eyes narrowed further.

"That was not a snide comment." Fornell glared back. "If it wasn't a pity fuck then what was it?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Gibbs yelled his hands balled into fists, his body tense with anger.

Fornell didn't even jump at the deafening shout.  He was use to his friend getting angry whenever emotions were involved. "It started out as a pity fuck…but turned into something more."

The tension left Gibbs' body, his fists slowly unclenched and he ran his hands through his hair. "It wasn't supposed to be like this, it was supposed to just be- I wasn't supposed to want him so much."

"But you did and you do."

Gibbs sat back down, filled his glass and swallowed it down.

"What do you want from him, more sex, a relationship…love?"

"I don't know that either." Gibbs sighed. "I just want it all to go away. The guilt, the confusion, the dreams, the memories, the want, the need, the desire, the-"

"You love him; you're just not sure you're in love with him."

"I don't want to be in love with him."

The words were spoken so softly Fornell almost thought he'd imagined them. "Because you can't have him?"

Gibbs dropped his head down onto the back of the chair. "Ziva, she's like a daughter to me."

"Jethro, they're not together, you didn't betray her."

"Yes I did." Gibbs stared unmoving at the ceiling. "Knowing her feelings, I shouldn't have let it happen." He chuckled. "Knowing  _his_  feelings I should have stopped it…never put yourself in the middle of two people you love."

"She's thousands of miles away; they obviously decided not to act on their feelings."

"Doesn't change anything, they're still in love."

"Absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder."

Gibbs turned his head sideway and looked at his friend. "And what if it does?"

Fornell saw the new worry and sadness in his friend's eyes. Gibbs always had a hint of sadness there, something Fornell knew was there because of Shannon and Kelly, but this…this was different. "Can you really see DiNotzo running off to Israel to be with her or her leaving Mossad to come back and play house with him?"

"Stranger things have happened." Gibbs picked his head up and leaned over pouring them each another drink.

"I hate to say it Jethro." Fornell said as he picked up his drink.

"What?"

"This might actually require you to open your mouth and talk to him."

Gibbs rolled his eyes and swallowed his drink. "And say what. I know you just wanted a quick fuck on the beach, but I can't stop thinking about throwing you against the wall and fucking you senseless every time I see you."

Fornell shrugged. "I've heard worse lines."

"Not gonna happen."

"You could try the truth."

"That was the truth."

Fornell shook his head. "No, the real truth."

Gibbs was silent.

"If all you wanted was sex you'd be screwing him right now instead of drinking with me." Fornell downed his glass and put it on the table. "You have feelings for him, probably always have; the sex just brought it to the surface."

"And he's in love with someone else, one sided relationships never work."

Fornell took a deep breath and blew it out. He refilled his drink and slumped back on the couch. "Then you better get some control over the brain between your legs and get the fuck over it."

"Thanks!"

"I call 'em like I see 'em."

"Just pour me another drink." Gibbs slammed his glass on the coffee table.

Fornell grabbed the bottle and filled their glasses. He tried not to, but he glanced at Gibbs, then back at his glass before taking a slow sip.

"Just ask." Gibbs scoffed seeing the question in Fornell's eyes.

"Was he really that good?"

"Jesus Tobias."

"Come on-" Fornell threw up his hands. "The man made you wanna switch teams, that's a hell of an accomplishment. I mean we've talked about our kinks, hell I married to your ex-wife, women talk… I know how freaky Diane is." His eyebrow went up. "Did he do that thing you like? The one Diane always-"

"Just drink your damn Bourbon." Gibbs snapped cutting off Fornell's sentence.

"Fine."

**#########**

He rolled over and opened his eyes, instantly feeling the pain stabbing at his forehead. "Fuck me." As he said it he up looked up at the man standing beside the couch holding a mug out to him and saw the raised eyebrow. "Yeah I know I'm not your type." Fornell smirked as he sat up to accept the coffee and the room started to spin. "Shit." He groaned closing his eyes for a moment then taking the cup. "Why the hell did you have to open that second bottle?"

"Because you asked me too." Gibbs chuckled.

Fornell took a slow sip of the hot liquid. "How are you not hung over?"

Gibbs shrugged.

"You do look like hell though." Fornell appraised the man before him. "You get any sleep?"

Another shrug.

"You need to shave."

Gibbs looked at Fornell confused.

"Pretty boys don't go for that unkempt look." Fornell smirked.

Rolling his eyes, Gibbs dropped down in the chair.

"Work anything out while you weren't sleeping?"

"Still working on it."

"Well." Fornell rubbed his face. "I don't have Emily this weekend so if you need anything, I'll be around."

Gibbs gave him a nod.

"You're gonna just hide in the basement and work on the boat all weekend aren't you?"

"Maybe not."

Fornell's right eyebrow went up. "What's her name…or his name?"

Gibbs ignored the comment. "Oliva, Baltimore Detective."

"Sounds promising."

"Lost her number, but she's friends with Abby."

"Really?" Fornell snickered. "Scary, but good scary right?"

"Yeah." Gibbs snickered.

"So call Abby, get the number, go out and enjoy yourself. Forget about the Italian Stallion."

Gibbs took a long swig of his coffee.

The corners of Fornell's mouth started to curl. "Oh so he really is an Italian Stallion."

There was no response.

"Silence is always a yes."

"Thought you didn't want the gory details?" Gibbs reminded Fornell.

"Still just wondering what the hell DiNotzo has or did that got you all hot and bothered."

"Tony's a good man."

"Didn't say he wasn't." Fornell just couldn't understand how a pretty boy like DiNotzo had gotten under Gibbs' skin. "Guess I just figured if you were gonna swing that way you'd go after some hard body outdoorsy type. Some one that would wanna build a boat with you, go sailing, and fishing, someone that doesn't mind getting dirty. Not a guy that spends more on one suit than you've spent on your entire wardrobe. Plus can't see him getting all covered in sawdust helping you on the boat."

"You've been thinking about the type of guy I'd go for?" Gibbs' eyebrow went up.

"No, I'm just saying-"

"Tony likes to fish and the clothes are just clothes." Gibbs knew the façade Tony wore around himself. The jokes, the expensive suits, the one night stands, it was all just a way to hide everything he was truly feeling and wanted.

"Okay, plus you probably don't care about him wanting to help  _with_  the boat as long as he would let you take him _against_  the boat."

"Thought had crossed my mind." Gibbs sighed. Truth was he'd thought about taking Tony in every room of the house. On the kitchen counter, on the table, the couch, against the hallway wall, the bed, in the shower and on, in or against the boat.

"Oh you really do have it bad." Fornell laughed. "Still doesn't explain, what the hell it is about him that has you as horny as a twelve year old school boy."

"What happened to calling Olivia forgetting about all this and just having fun?"

"I'm all for that, just not sure, you're up to it." Fornell grinned. "Or can get up for it."

"I can get it up just fine."

"And what made you get it up with DiNotzo."

_Fornell was just not gonna let this go_. Gibbs sighed.

"I get it he's good looking and all, but still."

"He's everything I'm not and that's everything I need." The explanation came out before Gibbs could even consider the words. "He's smart, caring, outgoing and he makes me laugh." He gave a half smirk to Fornell. "Doesn't hurt that he has a nice tight ass."

Fornell spit his mouth full of coffee half way across the room, then stared wide eyed at Gibbs before breaking out laughing. Gibbs laughing along with him. "A big dick and a tight ass, so that's what you look for in a man?" Fornell managed to stammer through the laughter. He suddenly saw the color drain from Gibbs' face and the laughter stop as Gibbs stared towards the hallway. Turning his head, Fornell's laughter caught in his throat as he saw the subject of their conversation standing in the entrance of the living room with a shocked look on his face. "That's my cue to leave." Picking up his shoes, he put them on as fast as possible, grabbed his wallet and keys and headed towards the door stumbling slightly. He stopped as he passed Tony and looked back at Gibbs. "If you um-"

Gibbs gave him a nod.

Tony didn't say a word to Fornell. He was too shocked by what he'd heard to even deal with the FBI agent.

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or offended." Tony said folding his arms across his chest.

"It was a bad joke." Gibbs managed to say.

"Right." Tony nodded. "Thought you didn't wanna talk about it?"

"I don't."

"No. You don't wanna talk to me about it, but you'll talk to Fornell." There was a twinge of anger in Tony's voice.

"He's not gonna say anything."

"That's not the point!" Tony snapped. "I could care less if he tells every agency in the alphabet."

"Tony." The name was spoken softly trying to diffuse the situation.

"Why won't you talk to me?" The anger had left Tony's voice replaced by sadness. "If this is bothering you, then we need to talk…I don't want this to ruin our friendship."

"It won't." Gibbs was doing everything possible to not let that happen.

"It's already changed things; you can barely stand to be around me." Tony shook his head. "You avoided me all week."

"You can't expect us to have sex and it not change something between us."

"So you're just going to avoid me, not talk to me unless you have too?" Tony paused. "That's not a friendship."

Gibbs ran his hand down his face. "I'm trying, I just… I need some time."

"Fine." Tony stood there a moment not sure if he should stay or go. Finally pride won out and he turned to leave. He'd only taken two steps when he felt the hand on his arm. He turned back around and met the steely blue eyes and the hand quickly released him.

"Stay." The word was barely a whisper. "I promise I'll work through it. Coffee?" Gibbs asked.

Tony nodded

Walking into the kitchen, Gibbs stood in front of the coffee pot and put both hands on the counter top and took a deep breath. He didn't want to have to deal with this today. Didn't want to have to deal with having Tony here, the constant need, the want, the all-consuming desire to just take the man. The touch of fingers against his back made him jump and spin around.

Tony shook his head and let out an annoyed chuckle. "You really think I'm going to try and jump you every time we're alone?"

"No." Gibbs' hands clutched at the kitchen counter. "Believe me I don't. I know what that night was about, you just needed something, someone."

A puzzled look covered Tony's face. "Something, someone?"

"Yeah."

"Right, anyone?" Tony shrugged. "I mean, if you hadn't given in I would have just left and found someone else."

"That's not what I meant."

"Yes it is." Tony laughed. "I mean you were just there, I just happened upon you." The laughter faded replaced by anger. "It wasn't like I spent hours trying to find you, coming to the house, then back to NCIS, tracking your phone, getting beer, driving out to the freakin' middle of nowhere just to find you!"

Gibbs couldn't make this come out right.

"I didn't need something or someone, I needed you!" Tony was yelling. "I wanted to be there for my friend and I wanted my friend to be there for me. What happened was not planned or thought out. I didn't drive there thinking you know what I need to get laid. I think I'll see if Gibbs will go for a quick fuck in the sand. Jesus Gibbs, I thought you knew me better than that."

"Then why?" Gibbs mirrored Tony's anger. "What was it that made you suddenly want me?"

Tony's gaze faltered and there was no response.

"You were right in the elevator, we should just forget about it." Gibbs pried his hands from the counter and turned around. He reached for a cup out of the cabinet, when he felt the hand on his arm and he was jerked back to face Tony.

"No, we are going to finish this conversation!" The words were said as a command, an order as Tony glared at the older man. "I won't let this-" He was suddenly slammed against the wall, his body pinned by the weight of Gibbs' body. Then lips crashed down on his.

The week of denying everything, the dreams, the want, the lust possessed Gibbs as he savagely devoured Tony's lips. It was in that moment, in that kiss, that Gibbs knew he'd never be able to let this go. This would ruin them. He'd made a promise he couldn't keep. Their friendship would never survive, he wanted Tony too much, having the man so close and not being able to touch him would drive Gibbs insane.

Tony's response was instantaneous. He tore at Gibbs' belt, then pants undoing them quickly, Gibbs' own hands responding in kind.

Gibbs was faster, his hand slipping into Tony's jeans and grabbing the younger man's cock and pulling it free. His hand wrapped around Tony's length stroking in fast long strokes.

Breaking the kiss, Tony's head went back against the wall as he moaned abandoning his initial attack on Gibbs. His hands knotted into the t-shirt covering Gibbs' chest as he gave into the assault.

Gibbs first thought was to just take Tony right there against the wall, but a reoccurring thought haunted him and he changed his mind. "I want you naked and screaming in my bed." He growled against the shell of Tony's ear. "Will you scream for me again, like that night on the beach?"

"Yes." The word came out as a breathless whisper as Tony thrust into Gibbs' hand. "God yes."

Nipping down Tony's jaw, Gibbs seized Tony's lips again, releasing the younger man's cock so he could wrap an arm around Tony and drag their joined bodies towards the stairs. Somehow they made it up the steps, lips parting only as shirts were removed and pants were sloughed off. By the time they reached the bedroom they were both naked, their bodies still laced together as they fell onto the bed.

A second later, Tony found himself staring up into the now familiar lust filled eyes. It took his breath away and before he could inhale, Gibbs' lips descended to his chest kissing down pausing a moment at his belly button.

Gibbs leered up Tony's body, meeting the green eyes again. Holding the gaze, he licked at the head of Tony's cock tasting the pre-cum then licked his lips.

Tony let out a stifled moan as he watched the head of his cock disappear between Gibbs' lips. "Oh fuck!" Slowly more and more of his cock was enveloped by Gibbs' mouth and Tony's body trembled.

Bobbing over Tony's cock, Gibbs tried to understand why sex with Tony happened so naturally. He'd never given a blow job before, yet he wanted Tony's cock the minute he'd started kissing down the younger man's body. There was no trepidation, no worry, all he wanted was to make Tony come and take everything the man gave him. He felt the hand on the back of his head as Tony's hips started to thrust upward driving the cock further down his throat. Gibbs free hand started to massage Tony's balls and he felt them tighten in his hand. Tony was close.

Feeling the release threaten, Tony closed his eyes thinking if he didn't see Gibbs it might slow the need. It had the opposite effect, it caused him to focus on how good Gibbs' mouth felt…warm and wet, the head of his cock hitting the back of Gibbs' throat. It was too much and his body started to tense, his eyes rolled back into his head as the sensation built at the base of his spine and cascaded throughout his body. The scream tore through the silence as Tony came hard and fast. The lips around him tightened and his cock was sucked in further as Gibbs swallowed the warm release. Completely spent, his body seemed to liquefy as he laid there gasping for breath. When his cock finally slipped from Gibbs' lips his body shivered and he tried to fight his way out of the sexually satisfied haze.

"You with me?"

Tony's eyes fluttered open meeting blue, moving as little as possible, he reached over stretching to open the second drawer of the nightstand and remove a small bottle. He popped it open and put some in his hand.

Gibbs groaned as Tony's hand wrapped around his aching cock stroking the lube over its length.

"Fuck me." Tony begged. "Please." He watched the older man's eyes go black with desire.

Dropping down on his side next to Tony, Gibbs rolled the younger man over facing away from him.

Two fingers came to Tony's lips and he pushed Gibbs' hand away. "Just fuck me."

There was a moment of hesitation then Gibbs' arm wrapped around Tony's waist as his cock slipped between Tony's ass cheeks. The head of his cock found the man's entrance and pushed inside. The muscle tightened around the intrusion and Gibbs' hand clawed at Tony's stomach as he slowly inched his way inside.

Reaching back, Tony clutched at Gibbs' hip trying to force the older man deeper.

"Want it that bad?" Gibbs hissed into Tony's ear.

"Yes."

"Good." And with the word Gibbs lunged into Tony.

The air rushed from Tony's lungs and when he tried to take a breath Gibbs drew back and lunged into him again.

Plunging into Tony over and over, Gibbs surrendered to the overwhelming desire. He'd never wanted to lose himself in someone like he did with Tony. His lips pressed against the soft skin of Tony's neck then bit down savoring the taste of the flesh under his teeth. God he wanted to feast on every inch of Tony's body, consume the man like his last meal and then start all over again. His fingertips dug into the taunt flesh of Tony's stomach as if trying to dig their way inside. He knew he was leaving marks all over Tony's body, but he didn't care. He wanted to brand the man, wanted the marks to be not only a reminder to Tony of the passion, but a warning to anyone that might encroach upon the man. He knew it was a futile attempt at possession, Tony wasn't his and sooner or later he would be forced to face that fact. Pushing the thought aside, he thrust harder and deeper trying to forget about the inevitable devastation that was to follow. He changed his angle slightly and heard Tony keen. That was the spot, the head of his cock prodded against Tony's prostate with each deep thrust forward.

A hand suddenly engulfed Tony's cock and his eyes closed as it worked over his length. He opened his mouth to scream, the combination of Gibbs' cock hitting his prostate and the hand stroking him pushing him towards the edge.

"Tell me you want more." Gibbs hissed in Tony's ear.

"More." Tony moaned. "Harder."

Letting out a bestially howl, Gibbs slammed hard and faster into Tony, his hand stroking in quick short movements over the cock in his hand.

"OH GOD!" Tony screamed as his mouth fell open and he plummeted into the abyss shattering into a million pieces.

Gibbs huffed out a breath as Tony tightened around his cock, the release running through his fingers as he continued to take the younger man. He couldn't stop, didn't want to stop. The body went limp in his arms and he changed his assault. Crushing Tony's listless body in his arms he made short quick jabs into the man. He heard a soft whimper from Tony then felt the push back as Tony meet each forward thrust. "That's right, you love my cock buried inside you." He snarled into Tony's ear.

"Yes." Tony hummed as he tightened around Gibbs' cock.

"Milk my cock, make me come." Gibbs grunted as his cock was squeezed repeatedly. It was too much and felt too good. "Tone!" The affectionate name feel from his lips as he came desperately clutching Tony in his arms as the world went black.

**##########**

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs carefully slipped his arm out from under the body against him. The younger man stirred but then hugged the pillow against himself and stayed asleep. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, Gibbs ran his hands down his face. He had been awake for hours, but couldn't bring himself to move. After grabbing a wash cloth and cleaning them both up, Tony had fallen asleep in his arms. As much as part of him wanted to stay like that all night, he just couldn't anymore. He needed some distance, needed to try and escape the ever present hunger for the younger man. Even now he wanted nothing more than to take Tony again. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Tony had taken away every ounce of control he had and he couldn't seem to get it back. Now his world was in chaos and he didn't know how to deal with it. Fingertips suddenly brushed against the small of his back and his body shivered.

"Come back to bed." Tony whispered, still in a sleepy haze.

"I'm to awake." Gibbs managed to stammer an excuse.

"You don't have to sleep."

Gibbs' body tensed when the warm lips kissed up his spine. "I'm going to work on the boat."

Tony slid his hand around Gibbs' hip and into the older man's lap running his fingers up Gibbs already hard cock. "I think your cock has other ideas." Coming to his knees behind Gibbs', Tony dropped kisses on Gibbs' shoulder.

"Tony." Gibbs sighed, the fire already ignited within him.

Rubbing his thumb across the head of Gibbs' cock, Tony heard the moan that Gibbs tried to suppress. "I need you." Tony whispered across Gibbs' ear.

Gibbs' shoulders slumped forward. He was going to give in. He was trapped by some sick masochistic need…wanting a man that wasn't his. He would never be able to be just friends with Tony, the need was too great.

"Please…I wanna suck your cock." Tony purred as he gently squeezed Gibbs' balls. He felt Gibbs' hand rest on his and he worked their joined hands over Gibbs' length. "See you want me."

"Yes I do." Gibbs let out a heavy breath. Wanting Tony was not the problem. He let out a mournful sigh as their hands continued to stroke over his cock.

"I love how hard I make you." Tony whispered as his lips kissed down Gibbs' neck. "Now lay back and let me suck you off."

"I can't." Gibbs jumped up and away from Tony as if fleeing a sinking ship. He walked to the dresser, opened a drawer and put on a pair of boxers as if the thin fabric would act as some shield against his desire for the younger man.

"What's wrong?" Tony could see the pain in Gibbs' eyes and knew everything was about to change.

Gibbs ran his hands through his hair. "I can't keep doing this…I can't."

Tony swallowed the lump in his throat. "Right, I should have seen that coming." He climbed off the bed and grabbed the sheet wrapping it around his waist. "Someone gets to close and you push them away. The Leroy Jethro Gibbs way of not having to deal with any kind of emotional connection." Tony chuckled. "Why did I think it would be any different with me?"

"Emotional connection, is that what this is?" Gibbs shook his head. "It's impossible to have an emotional connection when one of the people is already emotional invested in someone else!"

Tony's head jerked back as if he'd been slapped in the face.

"Tony, one sided relationships never work."

"No they don't." Tony should have realized this wasn't what Gibbs wanted. "Then why did you let last night happen?"

"I couldn't stop it."

"Yes you could have. It's easy!" Tony yelled. "You just say no!"

"This isn't my fault." Gibbs glared at Tony. "You started this and you had no right to ask me to be there for you like this when-" He shook his head not finishing the sentence as he had intended to. "You had no right to ask me for this!"

"You're right." Tony squared his shoulders. "I should have known better…I should have known I'd never be more than an quick fuck to a man that still uses his dead wife as an excuse to not let anyone get to close." He saw the anger blaze deep in Gibbs' eyes. Shannon was normally off limits to everyone, but Tony was beyond caring. "She's gone, it was horrible, I get it, but you wallow in it. How long will the next relationship last? A few weeks, a few months before they find out you can't love anyone because you're clinging to a ghost, afraid to let go because it will somehow diminish what you had with her. No one wants to be second place to a dead woman."

"And what about you?" Gibbs growled through clenched teeth. "Do you really think I want to be your second choice, your consolation prize because you refuse to go after the woman you really love?"

Tony's brow furrowed and he gave Gibbs an utterly confused look. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I saw you…with Ziva." Gibbs spat out, every word laced with jealousy and anger. "I saw the words, what you said. I could read your lips, at least part of it."

"That's what this is about; you think I'm in love with Ziva! You really do need to get your eyes checked."

Gibbs' body fell back against the dresser. Could he have read it wrong?

"You evidently missed the most important word in that exchange, because if you had seen that one word, that one name spoken during that goodbye, we wouldn't be having this conversation." Tony played through the conversation with Ziva trying to figure out how Gibbs had come to the conclusion. He started to chuckle. "Love, anger, regret and stubbornness, those are the words you saw." That had to be it.

Gibbs rubbed his forehead. He hadn't seen any other name, had just assumed…since Tony was talking to Ziva that he was talking about her.

"Never assume, get the facts, you taught me that." He sighed. "If I was in love with her, I never would have made love to you, never."

The words Tony chose to use settled into Gibbs' mind… _I never would have made love to you._

"I may have done a lot of stupid things in my life, but I would never use you like that."

Gibbs felt his stomach knot up and the bile rise in his throat.

"You mean too much to me to throw our friendship away for some one night stand."

Tony was right, Gibbs knew Tony better than that or should have. The question Gibbs asked next came out soft and low. "What name did I miss?"

"Do you really need to ask?" Tony took a step towards Gibbs.

Gibbs nodded. He needed to hear Tony say it.

Two more steps and Tony stood within arm's reach of the older man. "After that conversation with Ziva, I went to find you. I walked onto that beach wanting to tell you the truth…" He inhaled slowly then let it out. "But I...I was too afraid. Asking you to be there for me seemed easier…safer. When you turned me down I could be upset, walk away, but we'd recover and I'd still have your friendship. And I would know exactly where I stood with you." He let his fingers ghost over Gibbs' cheek. "I didn't expect you to give in…and I never expected you to want me."

"I did." Gibbs turned his head letting his lips brush across the inside of Tony's wrist. "And I do."

Tony glanced down at the bulge in Gibbs' boxers, then back up with a smirk. "I can see that."

"It's not just that." Gibbs sighed.

Tony nodded as he let his hand slip away from Gibbs' face.

Gibbs saw the doubt in the green eyes. He grabbed Tony's wrist before it fell away and he jerked the younger man against him hearing the stifled moan as their bodies made contact. "Tell me the truth…what you were going to tell me that night on the beach." He saw Tony's Adam's apple bob up and down in fear. He leaned forward and let his lips brush against Tony's ear. "Don't stop trusting me now." His arm snaked around Tony's waist pulling the man closer. "I won't walk away."

Tony placed his hand on Gibbs' chest and closed his eyes. "I love you." The words fell breathlessly from his lips. "I've wanted to tell you for years, but I didn't want to lose you." He felt the heart under his hand start to drum erratically. "And if you don't want me, I'll understand." He paused remembering the speech he had prepared that night in his head. "But I needed _you_  to know the truth. And I needed to know either way, because not knowing, constantly wondering if there could be something between us is killing me." When he felt the warm lips caress down his neck he purred out the name. "Jethro."

A guttural growl billowed up from deep inside Gibbs. His name had never sounded as erotic as it did coming from Tony's lips. Pulling himself from Tony's neck, he stared at the younger man's face. "Open your eyes."

Tony's eyes fluttered open to meet the intense stare of those steely blue's that haunted him so many days and nights.

"I love you." Gibbs surprised himself with the words and the easy with which they were spoken. He was in love with Tony and denial was not an option. His lips swept across Tony's as he tugged the sheet from Tony's body letting it pool at his feet. He leered down the younger man's naked body then back up into the sparkling green eyes. "And I want you." Gibbs groaned. "God do I want you." He moved them towards the bed, but before they reached it Tony spun them around.

Tony pushed the boxers down Gibbs' hips. "Sit." Tony said and Gibbs obeyed.

Sitting on the end of the bed, Gibbs gazed up at the man standing before him.

Dropping to his knees, Tony's hands clawed up Gibbs' thighs and the older man's legs parted.

Gibbs ran a finger down Tony's jaw line. "Did you have all kinds of fantasies about sucking me off at work?"

"Yes." Tony licked his lips.

"Were you a naughty Senior Field agent?"

Tony nodded biting at his lower lip.

"And did I think making you suck my big dick was punishment?"

"Yes." Flicking his tongue out, Tony licked at the head of Gibbs' cock causing the older man to moan.

"But it wasn't punishment?"

Tony shook his head and licked up the underside of Gibbs' cock.

Gibbs smirked. "You wanted to beg me to let you suck my dick?"

"Yes." Tony moaned as he sucked in the head of Gibbs' cock pressing his tongue against the slit then licking circles around it.

Groaning with need, Gibbs' hand fisted in the hair on the back of Tony's head and jerked the man off his cock. "Then maybe I shouldn't let you suck me off, maybe I should come up with a more fitting punishment."

"Please." Tony whimpered his hands caressing up Gibbs' thighs. "Let me suck your cock."

A lecherous grin spread across Gibbs' face as his other hand started to stroke his dick. "I could just make you watch."

"Jethro please." Tony begged.

Gibbs' cock twitched aroused by Tony's pleading. "You want my cock that bad?"

Tony nodded not trusting his voice. He'd had countless fantasies of sucking Gibbs off…in the bullpen, the conference room, the elevator, the basement, the shower and every room in between.

Gibbs let go of his cock, put his hands flat on the bed and leaned back.

Dipping down, Tony took another taste of Gibbs' cock licking across the head then down the underside of its length and gently nibbled at his balls. His eyes locked on Gibbs as he sucked in the head of the older man's dick. The mumble of approval spurred Tony on as he tightened his lips around the head and sucked greedily. Another approval as he felt Gibbs' fingers comb lovingly through his hair and he loosened his lips taking in a few more inches.

Letting out a deep groan, Gibbs sighed. "What have you done to me?" His cock had been in Tony's mouth all of five seconds and already he wanted nothing more than to knot his fingers in Tony's hair, fuck the man's mouth mercilessly, and come down that warm moist throat. He had absolutely no control when it came to this all-consuming need he now had for Tony. As Tony's lips descended down his cock, Gibbs' head fell back and he surrendered to the blissful sensation of lips, mouth, throat, tongue, and teeth. He wasn't the first; Tony had definitely done this before. The thought caused the possessive jealousy to surge through him _. He may not be the first, but he would be the last._ Tony was his. He'd claimed that right when he'd said those three words and he would make damn sure everyone understood that…especially Tony.

The hand combing through Tony's hair made one last pass then knotted tightly into his neatly cropped locks. He worked over Gibbs' length at a frantic pace, reaching the head, almost letting it fall from his lips then slamming down to the root. When some animalistic growl reached his ear, Tony almost stopped expecting Gibbs to take control and fuck his mouth, but it didn't happen.

Drawing his head back up, Gibbs gazed down at Tony and felt the need to come overwhelm him again. "Tony." He said the name as a prayer, a promise to whatever deity would listen. A prayer that this amazing man would always be his. A promise that he would do everything possible to make Tony happy, whatever it took. Pictures of their life together clicked through his mind…a life of endless happiness and love. A life Gibbs never thought he would have again. The orgasm struck him without warning, his body surrendering to the need before his mind was prepared. His body shook violently as he thrust his cock down Tony's throat coming harder and faster than he thought possible. Gasping for breath, he collapsed back onto the bed, his heart thumping against his ribcage as his body struggled to regain some stability. He had no idea how long he laid there lost in the muddled sex induced haze, but when he finally managed to open his eyes he was staring up into those shimmering green eyes that had haunted his dreams. Reaching out, Gibbs' clutched the side of Tony's neck drawing the younger man down to him. When their lips touched, Tony's tongue demanded entrance and Gibbs gave it willingly tasting himself on the younger man. His hand fall from Tony's neck as their lips drifted apart, his body exhausted and spent.

"I'm not done with you yet."

Gibbs couldn't help but chuckle. "I think you overestimate my ability."

"You underestimate mine." Tony sighed.

The body above Gibbs was moving short jerky movements and he realized what the movement was from…Tony's hand was wrapped around his own cock jerking off. "Tony." This time the name was a snarl as each pass Tony made over his shaft caused the younger man's ass to rub over Gibbs' flaccid cock.

"Don't you wanna watch me come?" Tony purred. "See how turned on I get sucking your cock." His eyes closed as he stroked his cock with no other thought than wanting to come. Completely engrossed in his own pleasure, he was caught off guard when he was suddenly thrown down on the bed by strong hands clawing at his hips. He stared up at the man now above him and a satisfied smirk curled at the corner of his lips.

"Taunting me is never a good idea." Gibbs hissed as his calloused hand engulfed Tony's cock roughly stroking over its length

Tony's head went back and his mouth fell open in a silent cry as he thrust into the older man's hand. He latched onto Gibbs' bicep searching for stability as the world started to spin out of control around him.

Always wanting more, Gibbs attacked the younger man's throat kissing and nibbling at the tender flesh.  _So sweet._  The same words from that first night flickered through his thoughts. Just like that night, he wanted more, knew it would never be enough. He could have Tony every day and he would always want more.

"Jethro!"

The sound of his name pulled him from his thoughts and he kissed his way back up Tony's neck to the man's ear. "Come for me." Gibbs demanded as he tightened his hand around Tony's cock.

That sexy commanding voice was the final straw, Tony screamed as he surrendered, his body convulsing uncontrollable as he came.

**##########**

The body against him shifted slightly and instinctively his arm tightened around the man's waist drawing the man deeper into his embrace.  _They fit so perfectly together._  He thought as he dropped a kiss to the younger man's shoulder craving a taste of the sweetness again.

"Did you sleep at all?"

The only reply was a soft grunt.

The kisses continued across his shoulder and Tony squirmed and turned around in Gibbs' arms. He smiled at the man as he touched the scruff covered cheek.

"You don't like it." Gibbs was reminded of Fornell's statement that pretty boys don't go for the scruffy look.

"I like it." Tony wiggled his eyebrows. "It's very ruggedly sexy."

Gibbs huffed out a breath.

"It is." Tony said running his thumb across Gibbs' bottom lip. "Reminds me of when you came back from Mexico." He stared at Gibbs' lips a moment then into the steely blue eyes. "But I can do without the long hair."

"I'll remember that." Gibbs' smirked as his fingers danced up Tony's spine making the younger man purr and his eyes flutter shut. Gibbs' cock stirred and he shook his head. A simple touch that's all it took for the fire to ignited.  _This is what addiction feels like._ He'd never been addicted to anything in his life, never understood the insatiable hunger that drove an addict to lie, cheat and steal for a fix…but he understood now. The ever present nagging at the back of your mind, the unquenchable thirst that nothing but the object of your addiction can satisfy, the constant knowledge that one hit is never enough you always want more and more and more.

"What are you thinking about?"

The question brought Gibbs from his contemplative state and his eyes refocused on the man in his arms. "You."

"Good or bad?"

"I'm not sure." Gibbs saw the worry settle onto Tony's facial features and he brushed his lips against the Italians. "I can't get enough of you."

The worry faded as quickly as it appeared and Tony bit at his lower lip seductively, as his fingers played with the hair on Gibbs' chest and his green eyes bore into blue.

"Stop it!" Gibbs snarled pushing Tony down onto his back.

"Stop what?" Tony asked innocently.

"You know what."

"I was just looking at you."

Gibbs' eyes narrowed.

"You're the one looking at me like your about to devour me." Tony's hands danced up Gibbs' back. "You're having all kinds of dirty thoughts about all the things you want to do to me."

Leering down Tony's naked body, a wicked grin spread across his lips. "Oh you have no idea."

"I'm pretty sure I do." Tony stretched upward to nip at Gibbs' throat, his hand caressing around Gibbs' neck as he pressed his lips to the man's ear. "And I will let you do them all." He bit at Gibbs' earlobe. "Every dirty little kinky fantasy you have…"

Gibbs' fingers clawed at Tony's hip as a rumble tore from his throat.

"I'll fulfill every one of them." The fingertips tore deeper into the flesh of Tony's hip and he moaned. "Like that one where you tie me to the hull of the boat with silk scarfs and fuck me till I can't remember my name."

Jerking back, Gibbs stared down at Tony wide eyed for a moment. The lube. "How did you know the lube was in the second drawer?"

"I'm an investigator."

"You were snooping." Gibbs brow furrowed. The lube and scarfs were in the second drawer in the nightstand, the boat, well that was easy enough to piece together. He smiled to himself. He'd trained Tony well.

Tony grinned. "Do you really think that in all the nights I spent here, when you let me sleep in your bed, alone…I didn't take a peek in your nightstand?"

Gibbs' brow went up. "And what else did you do while you were up here alone?"

"You mean did I touch myself?" Tony hummed running his hand over his stomach. "God yes."

Licking his suddenly dry lips, Gibbs swallowed hard as the picture of Tony in his bed jacking off took his breath away. "Did you think about me?"

"Yes…I wanted you to come up here and find me with my dick in my hand calling out your name." Tony's hand slid down and cupped his cock. "What would you have done if you'd caught me?"

There was a moment of hesitation before Gibbs shook his head. "I'm not sure." It was the truth. As much as he wanted Tony with every fiber of his being now, the thought had never crossed his mind before that night on the beach. He wondered what he would have done had he walked in on Tony. Would he have been embarrassed, flattered, angry, aroused. His cock twitched giving its vote.  _Aroused_. "I would have watched." The words crackled and broke as Gibbs spoke. "Hidden in the shadows."

Tony's hand wrapped around his cock working over it slowly. "Mmmm would you have rubbed your cock through your pants?"

"Yes."

"I would have known you were there." Tony moaned and his back arched. "I would have sensed you, smelled you."

Gibbs didn't even realize he had started stroking himself until his body started to tremble as the need built.

"I would have been so hard, aching to come…just like I am now." Tossing his head back, Tony sped up desperate to come, to show Gibbs exactly what thoughts of the man did to him. He felt the warm fluid hit his stomach, heard the animalistic grunts and groans and realized it wasn't his come, but Gibbs. He looked up and saw Gibbs frantically jerking his cock as he came. Tony's balls tightened as he took in the mesmerizing scene before him, it was too much. He came, his own release mixing with Gibbs'.

Collapsing down next to Tony, Gibbs cock continued to twitch, his body still awash in the aftershocks. "Did you really do that?"

"Almost every time I stayed." Tony sighed as he got up and headed into the bathroom.

Gibbs heard the water running for a few seconds then it shut off. "Almost?"

Emerging from the bathroom with a wet wash cloth, Tony grinned. "Well there were a couple times I slept on the couch and you fell asleep in the chair next to me."

"So you wanted me to catch you, watch you, but you couldn't masturbate with me in the room." Gibbs laughed as the warm wash cloth swept over his stomach and chest.

"I didn't say it was logical." Tony joined in the laughter as he handed the cloth to Gibbs and the older man wiped off his hands. The phone on the bedside stand chirped a few odd beeps, but Tony didn't move.

"That's you." Gibbs rolled onto his side and tossed the wash cloth into the hamper.

"It can wait." Tony pushed Gibbs back down.

"Avoiding someone?"

"No." Tony said quickly before capturing Gibbs' lips. He savored it, fueling the fire but not pushing for more. When he finally let their lips drift apart, he smiled down at his lover.

"You told her." Gibbs rolled his eyes and groaned. "How much did you tell her?"

Tony's mouth opened slightly, then shut and opened again. "You know that I told her about us, but you were clueless to the fact you were the one I was in love with. How the hell is that possible?"

"What did you tell her?"

"No, answer my question."

"I don't have an answer." Gibbs snapped.

"Liar." Tony snapped back.

"What did you tell her?" Gibbs repeated, shoving Tony back down onto the bed, capturing his wrist and holding them tightly above his head.

"That for one brief moment, I finally had everything I had ever wanted." The hands holding his wrist loosened and the blue eyes above him softened. "And even though it hurt thinking it would never happen again, I wouldn't change it."

The words clutched at Gibbs' heart and took his breath away. "I promise to give you countless memories, moments like that for the rest of your life." He seized Tony's lips trying to convey the truth of that promise with a kiss.

The phone on the nightstand chirped again and Tony started giggling against Gibbs' lips. Gibbs rolled his eyes as he dropped back down onto the bed.

"Oh come on its funny." Tony laughed. "The woman you thought I was in love with texting me wanting to know if we fucked like bunnies again."

"I'm not sure how I feel about you discussing our sex life with Ziva." Gibbs rubbed his forehead.

"I don't tell her  _everything_."

Gibbs glared at Tony. "Now who's the liar?"

"Well I haven't talk to her since the whole crazy sex, you thinking I'm in love with her debacle." Tony smirked. "How about I leave out how you almost jack me off in the kitchen?"

"I'd rather you leave out that I acted like a jealous idiot because I thought you were in love with her."

"Oh no." Tony belly laughed. "There is no way I'm leaving that out!"

Gibbs took a deep breath and stared up at the ceiling. "Is she really okay?" The laughter instantly faded and silence filled the room.

"She's okay." Tony placed his hand on Gibbs' chest. "What is it?"

"I blew her off the other night when she called."

"Why?"

Gibbs glanced over at Tony then back up at the ceiling.

Tony's eyes went wide. "Because you were jealous." He dropped a kiss to Gibbs' chest directly over the man's heart. "Leroy Jethro Gibbs unable to control his emotions, wow, I guess you do love me."

Gibbs rolled onto his side facing Tony and cupped the younger man's chin. "Yes I do."

"She'll understand." Tony smiled then reached over and picked up the phone off of the night stand. "Here." He handed it to Gibbs and kissed his cheek. "I'm going to shower." Climbing out of bed, Tony headed into the bathroom closing the door behind him.

Sitting up in bed, Gibbs pulled the sheet up over his waist, hit the number two speed dial and waited.

"Tony, is everything okay?"

"Not Tony."

"Gibbs." There was a hint of surprise in her voice.

"Ziver." He felt her smile through the phone.

"Are you two okay?"

"Yeah."

"He has loved you for a very long time."

"I know." Gibbs sighed. "I think I've probably love him a long time too."

"I believe you have."

Silence again. "I miss you Ziver."

Ziva felt the tears well up in her eyes. "I miss you too, but I am okay."

"Doesn't make it easier."

"I am only a phone call away and you have so much to be happy about that I do not want you to be sad because of me."

"Worried, not sad."

"I am surrounded by armed men and woman that would die to protect me."

"Try not to put that to the test."

"I will do my best."

"You always do."

"We'll speak soon."

"I'm sure Tony will call you tomorrow."

She tried to hide her laugh at the annoyance in his voice. "He is in love and it makes him act like a prepubescent school boy bragging to his friend about his conquest."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Great."

"You should be flatter by what I hear."

"Goodbye Ziver."

"I was extremely impressed by the story of your-" She stopped and pulled the phone back from her ear as the line went dead.

Tossing the phone on the night stand, Gibbs made his way into the bathroom and slipped into the shower. Wrapping his arms around Tony, he tugged the man against him.

"Feel better now?" Tony asked settling into the embrace.

"Yeah."

Tony started to laugh. "I didn't expect you to feel that good after talking to Ziva." He rubbed his ass against Gibbs' hard cock.

"That has nothing to do with Ziva and everything to do with you naked in my shower." Gibbs’ hand glided down towards Tony's cock chuckling when he found Tony already standing at attention.

"Promise me something."

"Anything." Gibbs whispered in Tony's ear.

"That unless we are kidnapped and held at gun point you will never tried to lip read a conversation I have with anyone."

Gibbs couldn't help but laugh. "I promise." His lips kiss a path across Tony's shoulder. "You took Oliva's number out of my pocket." It wasn't a question, he already knew the answer.

"Yes." No reason to lie about it now.

Gibbs' hand enveloped Tony's cock and the younger man leaned back against him with a moan.

"No smart ass comment about me being jealous?"

"No."

The hand around Tony's cock slowly stroked over its length and he was about to close his eyes and give into the desire when it suddenly hit him. He pushed Gibbs' hand away from his cock and turned around to face Gibbs with an angry glare. "You were going to call her? That's how you knew the number was gone."

"Thought about it." Undeterred by Tony's reaction, Gibbs' hand found the younger man's cock again and brushed a thumb over the head.

Tony's jaw clench as he tried to swallow a moan wanting to stay angry and not give into the hand that now was wrapped around his cock again.

"It never would have worked." Gibbs explained as he worked over Tony's cock.

Tony's hands caressed up Gibbs' damp chest and encircled his neck, the anger dissipating as the desire took over. "Why?"

"She isn't you." Gibbs answered then captured Tony's lips in a searing kiss.

Tearing his lips away, Tony groaned. "Stop."

Gibbs' hand stilled. "Tony, I don't want-"

"I wanna work on the boat."

Gibbs brow furrowed. "The boat, now?"

Tony nodded.

"Tony we just showered, it late and-" Gibbs saw the smirk curl at the corner of Tony's lips. "Ohhh you want to  _work_  on the boat."

Another nod.

Turning off the water, Tony stepped out of the shower and toweled off, before Gibbs' had even opened the shower curtain.

When Gibbs pushed back the curtain, Tony was already gone. Quickly running a towel over himself Gibbs walked into the bedroom. Tony was leaning against the bedroom door frame still naked, hands behind his back.

Gibbs glanced over at the nightstand then at Tony.

"There's nothing you need in there."

"Right."

Tony's hand slipped from behind his back and fell to his side.

Gibbs' eyes skimmed down Tony's arm to the thin piece of silk in Tony's hand…no not in his hand…one end was already tied around Tony's wrist. Gibbs ran his hand over his mouth afraid that he might actually be drooling.

"I hope that frame is as strong as you think." Tony sighed, turning and walking out of the room.

Gibbs took a deep breath then smiled and laughed. Life is funny sometimes. The one thing he had always needed and wanted had been in front of him the whole time and he'd been completely oblivious. People thought he always knew everything, and most of the time he did, but this had never crossed his mind. And he was glad it hadn't. Life is about timing and this; this was met to happen at this specific juncture in his life. He was ready for it now.

"If you're not down here in ten second I'm starting without you."

Gibbs sprinted out of the room.  _Oh yes, he was ready for it._


End file.
